tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post4627053165643268254..comments2010-03-18T08:03:52.870-07:00Comments on More Good Stuff: Preventative Discipline-Education, Limits/BoundariesMrs4444http://www.blogger.com/profile/06426176094895489541noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-56825395318536072832010-02-19T22:47:57.340-08:002010-02-19T22:47:57.340-08:00I stumbled across some of these older posts. I th...I stumbled across some of these older posts. I think you ought to repost them - these are GOLD! My kids are actually pretty well behaved because I've adhered to many of these techniques myself, but I find myself biting my tongue so much when I see my friends on twitter complaining about their kids acting so poorly, or when I see my friends not parenting their children well. I wish parents would learn some of these techniques so they would enjoy their children more. Well behaved kids can be so wonderful and fun to be around!AdriansCrazyLifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04463022076036044242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-25969550052716361362009-01-26T04:17:00.000-08:002009-01-26T04:17:00.000-08:00I agree completely that limits have to be set. The...I agree completely that limits have to be set. The challenge I find is when you have a child that tests every limit that you set (and she's only 4). Yet, I know that we have to remain vigilant and strong through this period...though it is trying at times...Dad of Divashttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07036276450518783326noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-9336947855305080472009-01-14T20:27:00.000-08:002009-01-14T20:27:00.000-08:00Awesome words of wisdom Mrs4444.Although my boys t...Awesome words of wisdom Mrs4444.<BR/><BR/>Although my boys tend to be night owls and I slack off on their bed times when it's not a school night, they still know there are boundaries. Even my 16 yr old may not still go to bed at 9:00 like the 7 yr old but he will take his quiet time to himself so we can do the same (or we are dealing with the baby...he still does not understand the rules ;) little stinker).Leannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07805631009814089439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-38676202545687086802009-01-12T22:15:00.000-08:002009-01-12T22:15:00.000-08:00great post. sounds like you know your stuff. i loo...great post. sounds like you know your stuff. i look forward to reading more on this subject.<BR/><BR/>i was a youth worker for 8 years and i think i understand a lot from a teenager's point of view. i just wish i could share that knowledge with certain parents to where they could understand the consequences of their lack of parenting. there are a lot of hurting kids out there....https://www.blogger.com/profile/02410214795470767158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-48302060929562330062009-01-12T11:44:00.000-08:002009-01-12T11:44:00.000-08:00So very well said. I could not agree more with the...So very well said. <BR/><BR/>I could not agree more with the parent time. My daughter is 10 and is still in bed at 8 although all her friends go to bed by 10. Bedtime has always been 8 with my kids and they have never had a problem with it. It is our time to relax, unwind and enjoy each others company.<BR/><BR/>I can't wait to follow up on all our other posts about this.Amy Amy Bo Bameyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12802405717161236476noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-15756800965810688702009-01-12T11:17:00.000-08:002009-01-12T11:17:00.000-08:00Kids love adults who make them feel safe and with ...Kids love adults who make them feel safe and with whom they know what to expect. Right Karen? Thanks for adding your story.Mrs4444https://www.blogger.com/profile/06426176094895489541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-73148029598175318382009-01-12T10:04:00.000-08:002009-01-12T10:04:00.000-08:00What a great idea!!!I think that what you have wri...What a great idea!!!<BR/><BR/>I think that what you have written, is extremely good advice.<BR/><BR/>I agree withy you that parenting is something that you need to prepare for. Good parenting is not an inborn instinct, especially in our modern age. <BR/><BR/>In my observations, the biggest parental skills that are missing/underused in the kids that I deal with, is setting limits and boundries.<BR/><BR/>We have one little boy, in the second grade class I volunteer in on Fridays, who is extremely rude and disobedient to his mother.<BR/><BR/>She noticed that he was really polite and obedient with me and mentioned that she wished he was like that with her.<BR/><BR/>I told her that he had been rude to me. At which point, I got down to his level, told him that he had to look me in my eyes and that we were going to sit here until he did. Then I told him that being rude.disobedient was unacceptable, that I would not tolerate that behaviour from him and that if he continured it, there would be consequences. <BR/><BR/>He kind of sneered at me and told me that I couldn't do anythingat which point I took his recess away for the rest of the day. The team teachers backed me up.<BR/><BR/>He's been extremely polite ever since.<BR/><BR/>To me, there are a number of important things taking place there..<BR/><BR/>Making limits clear ..<BR/><BR/>Setting consequences and sticking to them..<BR/><BR/>Being backed up by other adults..<BR/><BR/>Look forward to the resat of the series !!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17109531002159599556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-45972270240488917972009-01-12T07:36:00.000-08:002009-01-12T07:36:00.000-08:00Wow, Liz! Those books sound like excellent resourc...Wow, Liz! Those books sound like excellent resources. I'm definitely going to find them! Thanks.<BR/><BR/>You're welcome! :) We moms have to stick together!!<BR/><BR/>Thanks, Brandy. I will definitely check out your site when I am at home :)Mrs4444https://www.blogger.com/profile/06426176094895489541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-81524655780863883322009-01-12T07:31:00.000-08:002009-01-12T07:31:00.000-08:00I'm very much looking forward to this series.I abs...I'm very much looking forward to this series.<BR/><BR/>I absolutely agree on the Education thing. I get so frustrated when a parent immediately poo-poo's a suggestion simply because I reference a book. I get tired of hearing "I don't parent from books, books don't know my kid, etc."<BR/><BR/>I read a vast amount of books with a variety of viewpoints. And when I find something in there that really works, I stick to it, make it part of my recipe box, so to speak, and I share what works for us. <BR/><BR/>Can I suggest some reading? Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller. Google either one of them- the content of their websites is identical, I think. They have written books on Parent Talk, Couples Talk, Teacher Talk. They focus on the power of language as a parneting tool... and more than that... that the words we choose to use have immense influence. The 2 books that I read the most frequently, that have been most influential for me, are "The Only 3 Discipline Solutions You Will Ever Need" and "The 10 Commitments."Eternal Lizdomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12436844959718198383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-22538049414530787022009-01-12T06:18:00.000-08:002009-01-12T06:18:00.000-08:00I think this is so wonderful. I look forward to re...I think this is so wonderful. I look forward to reading your series and since this fits right in with my Ask Brandy Ellen blog I posted up a link for my readers to come read your wonderful series. If you want to check it out you can here: http://askbrandyellen.blogspot.com/ ((HUGS))Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-54046646735176630522009-01-12T04:50:00.000-08:002009-01-12T04:50:00.000-08:00I LOVE YOU! Thank you so much for posting a serie...I LOVE YOU! Thank you so much for posting a series on this topic! I totally agree with everything you have said (so does my Mom--my discipline coach)! My friends think I am crazy having my kids in bed at 7. I NEED TIME with my husband! That has always been our rule. I feel like I have set limits and Frick follows them to a T, but Frack...oh my sweet Frack. He is from a different mold! He is testing me every day. Thank you for the reassurance. I cannot wait for more posts.Mandyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11757339989585521274noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-37199438317012472952009-01-12T04:22:00.000-08:002009-01-12T04:22:00.000-08:00Nonna, I would ask her if she would think it cute ...Nonna, I would ask her if she would think it cute when he is in his teens and saying the same thing, even when she asks him to stop, because he thinks it's funny.<BR/><BR/>I also have a philosophy that if something doesn't fit with our family's values, then we don't invite it into our home. For example, music with lyrics that are over the top or TV shows that are idiotic (or, obviously, rated above our kids' levels). If these lyrics fit with your daughter's values, then she will embrace them and there is little you can do, unless she asks for help. I would focus on being an oasis for your grandson; a home that is loving and supportive (of him AND his mom :) and that provides limits that make him feel secure.<BR/><BR/>Anonymous, I'm so sorry for the loss of your son. My best friend lost her 3rd son in October, and I've witnessed the depths of grief I hope I never see again. You are in my prayers. As for your step-daughter, my email is in my profile, but I'm not sure that I would suggest anything different than what you've tried; professional help is in order for her. Your husband needs to get involved in that (counseling)and reach out to his daughter personally. It has to be tough watching her life spiral like that. Al-Anon is good resource for people dealing with the addictions of family members; you should consider attending a meeting and/or reading some of their suggested resources. Good luck!Mrs4444https://www.blogger.com/profile/06426176094895489541noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-13444423047459519442009-01-12T02:22:00.000-08:002009-01-12T02:22:00.000-08:00I have got to get my husband to read this blog. I ...I have got to get my husband to read this blog. I am so glad that I found it. I have a 17y/o S-daughter that just loves to play the victim. I raised my 3 sons just as you described. My sons oldest is now 27 and now in the Marines just home from Iraq, second son is 26 and just got engaged, sadly my youngest son was killed when he was 18, that was 5 years ago. We have had custody of My Husbands daughter for 7 years. Her mother is a piece of trash. Anyway over the last 2 years this beautiful young girl has changed so much. You can't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. She has ran away from home. Failed her whole junior year. was stealing her Dads hard liquor and replacing it with water. Bad thing is he keeps it in the freezer. You guessed it. Broken glass. She became and alcoholic. I was trying to tell my husband something was going on with her, that he needed to talk to her, I had tried, She would come home from school and sleep. There are too many things that I wish I could say, I just would rather they were not in an open post, We tried counseling for her, but she lied to the counselor. First day back to school after Christmas break she cut a class. I had already told her, this type of behavior would not be tolerated in my home. My husband keeps asking me what he should do, but never listens to my advise, so do you have an email address that I can contact you at and do you have any advice that I can beat my husband over the head with?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-379646497022757880.post-52837232985928635492009-01-11T22:51:00.000-08:002009-01-11T22:51:00.000-08:00this is great! i hope i can get my s.daughter inte...this is great! i hope i can get my s.daughter interested in reading these. i was brought up the way you are "instructing"?? and i think it served me well also. <BR/><BR/>my s.daughter wasn't. i'm sure you saw the video that the g-kid made. i totally disagree with several of the lyrics and mentioned that i had put a disclaimer regarding those lyrics to my s.daughter. i could tell that she thought it was stupid that anybody would find them inappropriate and said "oh please, he's just a 3 y/o". i dropped it because i didn't want to cause any problems, and i was afraid any critism would be taken the wrong way.<BR/><BR/>can you think of a response, or a gentle way to explain to her that teaching a 3 y/o to ask "you want some of this, do you see these fists, etc.." is inappropriate. she is also doing the whole laughing at the bad words (which she is obviously using in front of him). <BR/><BR/>help! i know we can't control what the baby daddy does, but i want to help her to understand the consequences of what she is teaching/allowing to happen.nonnahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15393143364014980535noreply@blogger.com